Stargate short stories

[CommanderOz]

Not enough time to write a full epic? Why try a single post, 2,000 words or so, just to try your ideas out.:D

[CommanderOz]

Ok the here's my first.

Jack's Dilemna



The weekly SG-1 state-of-the-universe meeting with General Landry ended with no sarcastic remarks being uttered by O'Neill, an event so unusual that the general felt compelled to ask a parting question. "Jack, are you all right?

Jack started slightly, and managed to look a little sheepish. "Oh, uh, Hank. I'm fine. Just up a little late last night, that's all."

Landry eyed his friend suspiciously for a moment before replying. "Very well. SG-1 dismissed, I presume you'll be joining them Jack?."

Much to the surprise of his team mates, Jack made no effort to respond as Hank left the room. The remaining fivesome shared significant, but befuddled looks. After a few moments of silence, Daniel ventured, "Uh, Jack, are you *sure* nothing's wrong?"

"What?" The Jack looked up at the concerned faces of his lead team. "Oh, plenty's wrong. Sort of. I think."

Sam's face spoke volumes about her confusion. "Sir, you told Landry that you're fine."

"I *am* fine. It's just... Never mind." Jack slipped into his military commander mode. "Don't the five of you have something to do?"

Cam,Daniel, Sam,Teal'c and Vala immediately sat back down at the conference table. Daniel, again, took on the job of spokesperson. "Yes, Jack, we need to find out what's wrong. Nightmares?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." Jack sighed as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Our last mission?" Vala asked softly, wondering what about it might have upset the older man.

Jack's head snapped up and he stopped playing with the paperclips from the meeting portfolios. "What? Oh, no. *Not* that kind of bad, I mean at least Cam kept his clothes on this time"

"O'Neill, unless I am mistaken, this conversation is as confusing to the others as it is to myself."

"Yeah, sir, you're not making a lot of sense." Cam sighed in exasperation.

"Oh, for crying out loud, it's nothing important. I just..." His voice trailed away and he stared at the table again.

"You just what, sir?" Sam prodded.

"Iboughtacomp..." The words ran together in a jumble and the others expectantly at Daniel.

The younger man cocked his head and muttered. "Do I *look* like I speak mumble?" As Teal'c's mouth opened to reply, Daniel held up a hand. "Forget I asked. Jack, just tell us what the problem is?"

"I bought a computer." Jack sighed and tossed a pencil across the room.

"Excuse me?" Daniel gasped in surprise. "You've always said you'd never have a PC at home."

"That's wonderful, sir, what speed, what's the size of the hard drive, did you get a read-writeable DVD rom, internal or external modem?"

"From my observations of Captain Hailey's reactions upon my purchasing her computer, I would have expected you to be more openly enthusiastic. Can we assume that your purchase has not gone exactly as you anticipated?" Teal'c said with the eyebrow in the appropriate position.

The joint responses solicited a groan from Jack. "Yes. I don't know. Yes."

"Jack!" Daniel replied in exasperation.

"I answered your questions - yes to Daniel, I don't know to Carter and yes to Teal'c."

In was Cam's turn to look puzzled. "You don't know...what, sir?"

"Fine. It has a read-writeable DVD thingie and the modem is stuffed on the inside. Satisfied?"

"Thank you, sir." Sam tried to hide her grin. "Is it Window's 7 or Vista?"

"I know that!" Jack replied his eyes laughing for a change. "The answer's yes,it's 7."

"You only know that because it says so on the main screen." Vala teased.

"Hey, at least I remembered it."

"O'Neill, why are you unhappy with it?" Teal'c asked curiously. " Jennifer Hailey named hers Fred and still speaks lovingly about him."

"Sweet." Jack stuck his hands in his pockets, then sighed. "Okay, to tell you the truth, I'm a little confused about the software that came with it. Kinda."

"Kinda?" Daniel prompted as Sam replied, "Maybe we can help?"

"Yes, Daniel, kinda. And maybe *you* can, Carter?"

"Fire away, sir." Sam smiled encouragingly.

"Okay. I followed the directions. It's up and running and seems to be fine except..."

"Just spit it out, Jack."

"Okay, it came with two music software packages that do Internet music for crying out loud. And there's four different packages that you can use to watch movies or something. Now, I ask you, what do I need with six audio/visual packages? Hell, I'm not sure, I would've thought Corn would be country-western."

"Uh, no, Jack. Korn is a heavy metal rock group."

"So *that's* what that was. Okay, what about the audio stuff?"

"Personal preference, sir. Some people like the features in one product over another." Sam smiled benignly.

"Oh. Then I probably shouldn't have installed them all, right?" Jack looked expectantly at then all.

To the surprise of all, Teal'c responded. "I do not believe it to be harmful. Use each one for a period of time then discard the ones you do not like."

Jack glanced at Sam then gulped. "Uh, Teal'c, how..."

"Captain Hailey was most explicit in her instructions." He replied solemnly.

"Oh. I see." Jack sighed heavily. "Well, actually, I ready had that figured out. And before anyone asks, I installed the virus software before selecting an ISP and connecting to the Internet."

"Way to go, General." Vala cheered, then asked curiously. "So, if you're so well adjusted, what's the problem?"

"It had some financial software packages on it. A couple of them actually."

"Okay?" Sam encouraged.

"I tried them both." Jack was looking decidedly sheepish now.

"And?" Daniel and Sam asked together.

"Well, they both connected to the Internet and did something called Online Banking."

"That's good." Daniel began, then got a look at Jack's face. "Isn't it?"

"I'm not sure." Jack's sheepish look only deepened.

"Jack!"

The colonel threw up his hands. "Okay, okay, the online banking thing asked me a bunch of questions, then it, well, it downloaded my checking account statement, then closed sorta suddenly."

Sam nodded. "Yes, sir, that's what they're supposed to do."

"Great." Jack looked much happier. "Where is it?"

"Where is what?"

"My statement."

Daniel's eyes widened. "You didn't see where it put it, or, what it was named?"

"That would be a 'no', Daniel. I didn't even know it was going anywhere until the connection shut down."

"What software where you using, sir?"

"I don't know." Jack looked sheepish again. "I was just kinda fooling around, getting used to the machine and just wasn't paying attention and it *was* very late, so I was getting tired I had a few beers. Do you have *any* idea how much software comes with a new PC?"

Vala just looked at him in amazement, even she had figured this out and managed to buy a whole new wardrobe without blowing her budget, which Daniel found somewhat amazing. "So, you really don't know where your statement is General?"
"I thought I said that."

"Sir, why don't we come over tonight and I'll see if I can find it for you?" Sam carefully avoided looking at Daniel, knowing she'd lose her composure immediately if she met the other man's eyes. He was smirking broadly at this point.

Jack brightened instantly and virtually leaped from his chair. "That would be great! I'll order pizza and we can put the hockey game on in the background." To the team's astonishment, he continued talking as he headed for the door. "I found a really neat game site on the Internet, where everyone who plays picks a character, like an elf or a dwarf or a human - that's kinda dull, and then..."

The five members of SG-1 stared after their General's figure as he disappeared down the hall. "Huh, Jack's found a new side to himself?" Daniel said pointedly.

"More like created a monster." Sam moaned. "This is gonna be bad."

"Indeed." Teal'c replied stoically. "O'Neill's level of enthusiasm is rapidly approaching that of Captain Hailey's. Perhaps we should not have expressed our concern?"

"Ya think?" The other's all replied.

[Wraithicator]

Here's one of mine, I posted it in it's own thread a while back but here it is again...


I wasn't very satisfied with how Threads ended...thought I'd add some more. Enjoy!

All Over Again

“So…” It was a loaded phrase if ever she’d heard one. Especially accompanied by the expectant look in Jack O’Neill’s dark brown eyes and his raised eyebrows. He was leaning on a the worktable in the center of her office, resting his chin on his fists, elbows on the table.

“So…what, sir?”

“Danny’s back.”

“Yes, he is.” She knew what he was getting at, but refused to give him any hint that she did.

“Have…you talked to him?”

“You know I have, Sir.”

“Well, you kind of talked to him. Did you really talk to him, though?”

She continued playing dumb.

“What are you saying, Sir?”

“Carter, he just died! It screwed us all up the first time, and now it’s happened again. Sure, he’s here now, we’re all happy, life goes on.”

“So…”

“So he needs to know his friends are glad to have him back.” He stood up now and crossed his arms.

“He can see we’re relieved, but he needs to be told.”

“Why…why can’t you tell him, Sir?” She felt an unexpected knot in her throat, the combined grief of her father’s death, the end of her relationship with Pete, and Daniel’s death nearly overwhelming her as she fought for control of her voice.

“I told him I was glad to have him back, but I can’t speak for you. I know you are – it’s pretty obvious – but you need to tell him.”

“I…I will. I want to, but it’s…hard, Sir.”

He responded with a step closer and a comforting hand on her arm.

“Sometimes it’s hard to say the things we really…need to say. Everyone gets that feeling where they just want to scream at the top of their lungs but can’t. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Thank you, sir. I’ll…talk to him.”

“I know you will.” He smiled and let his arm drop. He hesitated for just a second, as if he wanted to tell her something more. But the moment passed and he turned to leave. She watched him go, fighting valiantly to fight the hot tears welling up behind her eyes.

Daniel looked up at the sound of a knock and Sam Carter’s voice.

“Daniel? Are you busy?” She was leaning against the doorframe of his office, her green eyes glistening with moisture. Her lips smiled, but the eyes said something else.

“Not at all…are you okay?”

“I…” she let her voice trail off as she stood up. She looked down at the ground and back to him. He tried to smile encouragingly. She gave a sound like a sigh of frustration and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. Then she turned and walked quickly towards him and threw her arms around his neck tightly. Her head pressed against his shoulder as she tried not to cry.

He hugged her back possessively, his own eyes moistening. It felt…right to hold her like he was, like he was the only one in the world she needed. He pressed his face against her and breathed in the scent of her hair.

Daniel tried to speak, but she started first. She pulled back from the embrace and put both hands around the back of his neck, her thumbs resting lightly on his cheeks. Her face was streaked red and her eyes shone even more than before.

“Daniel, don’t you ever do that to me again! Do you know what it felt like the first time? Stop…dying!”

He had to laugh at the seemingly bizarre instruction. He took her hands gently and held them.

“Sam…I’m sorry. Jack told me about…” he searched for the right words, unsure where to start. He finally settled on avoiding all sensitive areas of conversation.

“…he told me about everything. I wish I could have been here for you. There’s nothing I can say.”

“Then don’t say anything.” Her voice caught as she wrapped her arms around him once again, this time around his waist. He hugged her shoulders once again and kissed the top of her head as gently as possible.

Neither knew how long they stood in that room, leaned against each other for support figuratively as well as literally. Finally, they pulled away from one another, and they were both smiling.

“Thanks, Daniel.”

“Thank you.”

“You need to know…how much you matter to me. If I lost you, I…I don’t know where I’d be.”

“Well, I’m here now.”

“Yeah. Glad you’re back, Daniel.” Her voice caught again, but she still smiled.

“I don’t know about you, but I could use some coffee. And a walk.”

“That sounds nice.” They walked slowly to the door and left the room. They walked to corridor to the commissary slowly, enjoying one another’s company. They joked back and forth, and things seemed to slowly return to normal.

Neither Daniel or Sam noticed that they were being watched. Jack O’Neill smiled as the two friends smiled at each other as they turned and walked out of his view around a bend in the corridor. He’d give it a minute, and then join them in the commissary. Yeah, he’s back. Thanks for staying, Daniel. Jack smiled even wider as he thought about how good it felt to have his friend back. He glanced at his watch, decided it was close enough, and strode down the corridor. Things were starting anew, all over again. Life felt good, and everything seemed alright for now.

[CommanderOz]

Beautiful Wraithi, so I greened you:D

[CommanderOz]

Pegaus Pants

This was it, she had finally had enough. It was unbelievably annoying to keep reordering the one different type of BDU that the man wore and it always added significantly to her paperwork. Despite looking good in it, she was more annoyed with the added work than pleased with the eye candy, though that wasn't that bad either. Now she was going to get answers.

He was sitting on the balcony in the Mess Hall, coffee in one hand, tablet in the other. At least he was getting work done. Maybe, just maybe if he was nice, polite, and provided a good explanation she would allow him to continue.

But yesterday had been the last straw. He had fallen into a muddy bog right out of the gate and completely ruined yet another set of BDU's. It wasn't enough that they were completely caked in mud and God knows how many different kinds of filth that was in that bog, but Ronon, upon pulling him out had shred it to pieces in trying to clean him up. The event had left the man with only one clean and unscathed Battle Dress Uniform.

She made it look like she was just going to sit down to have breakfast, a slice of toast and jam, a hard boiled egg, an orange and salad. Nothing much as she wasn't running around burning calories like she used to. In actuality, it was a struggle to not just sneak up behind him and dump it all in his lap, perhaps finally forcing him to wear the official Atlantis uniform.

Flowing gracefully around him without a word and he replied effortlessly by pretending not to notice her. God he was smooth, too smooth. Maybe Rodney was right and all the hair products had some kind of cumulative effect on his brain. She sat down and smiled sweetly. "John."

John didn't even look up, but his voice was very respectful. "Mornin', Sam. Nice to have company." He only ever called her Sam in private, and this secluded balcony table counted. Sam smirked lightly at the easy going team spirit they'd worked out, it reminded her of Cam.

Sam had assumed correctly he'd be unfazed and used her sweetest and most non-threatening voice, the one Jack and Daniel had quickly learned to pay attention to. "There's something we need to talk about...."

John put the tablet on the table. He'd been grading the martial arts classes he and Ronon were holding for the Marine contingent and was about halfway through when Sam arrived. He took a sip of his coffee and smiled directly at Sam. "Can't wait for the briefing?"

Sam kept the sweet singsongy tone. She wanted to nail him full force and needed to sneak the complaint in like a poisoned dagger. "Nope. This is something that's just between you and me." She'd played poker enough times to see his reactions. John's pupils dilated slightly, his breathing a little faster. He was obviously preparing to defend himself and his suave smile kept it well hidden.

He didn't disappoint. "Oh, well... shoot."

Sam took a deep breath in. This had to be carefully worded and incredibly gracious. She was letting loose an entire afternoon's worth of work in this semi-speech and needed to make sure he fully understood and perhaps even agreed. "Would you mind explaining why you refuse to wear the standard Atlantis uniform?

Sam paused for a second to both let it sink in, and for dramatic effect.

"I've had to order black Battle Dress Uniform's on the last four shipments from Earth and it adds about half an hour to my inventory team per person.

The proof was there, the numbers didn't lie. Sam's devious smile told John that she'd obviously prepared well for this encounter.

"I've done the calculations and it actually costs this expedition an extra thousand dollars on average per month to keep them either in stock, or reorder them when you ruin them offworld.

The main issue aside, she set herself up perfectly for the next rebuke. John seemed completely unsurprised to her curiosity.

"On that note, of the past 20 times you've gone out, eight times you've come back with either your shirt, or your pants in a state in which they no longer meet standard USAF regulations on cleanliness, color, odor, or amount of revealed skin.

As fit as John kept his body, Sam had had little or no desire to see his bare backside the week prior when his pants were completely ripped to shreds when he fell down a slope and his belt had gotten caught on a root. Although now that she had, Sam had to admit, the man could open a bakery with how fresh those buns were.

Sam was expecting John to interrupt, but he seemed oddly calm about the entire rebuke. She clasped her hands together in front of her to try and look a little more formal; this was not a joke. "So in closing, I'm going to give you one chance to argue why I should continue ordering them."

Sam took a deep breath, and blatantly stole a bite of John's waffle. It'd been too easy to be John's friend till now and Sam needed to make sure he knew that she was the one wearing the pants around here... both metaphorically and literally in this case.

John seemed completely unaffected and took another sip of his coffee. Once he finished swallowing, he leaned forward slightly, his voice soft and friendly. "Simple answer? They don't fit right. I get chafing and calluses in uhh... tender areas if I wear those uniforms. Remember the first time we met in the SGC, you told us about the Stargate? Reason I was all fidgety is I had to keep in an uncomfortable position to keep from ripping the seams of those pants.

He kept his voice reasonable, in just a polite and diplomatic voice as Sam did. "I ran the numbers myself when Weir complained, and the thousand extra's nothin' compared to the two thousand plus it'd cost to get the proper size uniform custom made, given the way I go through 'em." John smiled, loving the slight and almost imperceptible shock that crept across Sam's facial features. He'd found that Sam highly enjoyed his sarcastic wit and loved it when she smiled.

Shrugging his shoulders, John got back to his breakfast. "I don't blame you for wondering why though. You're not the first to ask why the military commander of a base would wear a different uniform than the troops under him. And since we're on the topic, besides the fit, I think it makes me stand out better off-world if there's a clear line separating me, 'the leader', from the others." John used air quotes to emphasize his point.

Sam clenched her jsaw, a clear sign that she was struggling not to smirk. John had been expecting her to come to him about this eventually and had worked out his rebuttal just as much as she had worked on her complaint.

He pressed before Sam could answer. "And as far as my clothing in bad shape, all in the line of duty. Cam mentioned having the same conversation with General Landry when he couldn't keep his pants on no matter how hard he tried." Sam finally cracked, a stifled snort leaving her throat. John felt incredibly proud and took a deep breath. He stared at Sam and expected her reply. "So with that set straight, what's your decision?"

John had finished with a hopeful look, Sam couldn't help but think of puppies and a magic rainbow land. She nearly broke out into laughter but managed to stay in control

Sam took a few deep breaths, calming herself. She took a nice long sip of tea before finally speaking. "I can see you're adamant about this and you've done your research. So I'll meet you halfway and keep ordering them, under the condition that you take better care of them."

She smiled, and deep in her mind she was glad he was so meticulous. It made her more respectful of the man and his well built frame. The fact that he was willing to stand up to her on something he believed in was encouraging too. It'd all been too smooth since they seemed to think on the same wavelength and it was heartening to know that they could disagree in a mature and civilized way.

John made an indecisive shrug and took another sip of coffee. Unbeknownst to him, Ronon was walking up behind him carrying a tray in one hand. "I'd love to agree, but this galaxy has something against me wearing pants."

As if to prove his point, Ronon's free hand came down on his shoulder in greeting. " Sheppard." John jolted in surprise, and accidentally spilled his mug of hot coffee into his lap. He winced and groaned ever so slightly at the burning agony. Sam gasped as she covered her mouth in shock to keep her smile hidden. Doubling over a little, John's veins on his neck bulged as he grit his teeth and tried to give Ronon an irritated look.

Sam shook slightly as she stifled her snickers in her throat at the unlikely circumstances. Ronon raised his eyebrows even as he took a bite out of his 20 ingredient sandwich, sitting between the two commanders. "Uhh... sorry."

John's eyes were wide and his hands were shaking slightly as they curled into fists, baring the pain. His breath was unsteady and he shivered in repressed agony. John looked to Sam once the searing anguish was past and hoarsely whispered. "See what I mean?"

[Wraithicator]

:D he he he...that's funny

[CommanderOz]

:p Had to edit^^^^^ Crkey the forum word filter is working overtime. I couldn't believe the words it put **** over. Needs some updating there, seriously:D

[CommanderOz]

:D he he he...that's funny

Glad you liked it. Say what's with the rep power? I've been here for weeks now and still zero, so weird. Not that I look for it, but it is kinda slow. Maybe I should start a Free Rep thread:raz::wink:

[CommanderOz]

An Inconvenient Teal'c


“What purpose does a 'gulp' serve, and why should it be big?”

O'Neill paused in his efforts to put the lid on his cup and threw a look over his shoulder at Teal'c. The big man looked out of place standing at the drink station of the convenience store, holding his red and white cup. He'd been staring at the vast array of soda options for several minutes, and still had yet to choose anything beyond cubed ice rather than crushed.

Before the Colonel could say anything, though, Teal'c spoke again.

“Is this beverage meant to be consumed in one single swallow?”

“No, T' it's just saying that it's a big drink.”

“Then perhaps the better name for the serving would be 'Many Gulps Within One Large Cup'.”

“But then it wouldn't sound as cool. 'Big Gulp'. It's a great name. Easy to say. Alliterative.”

But still the Jaffa stood there, unmoving, cup full of melting ice in hand. Jack reached for and withdrew a long straw from the stainless steel dispenser near the lid rack, ripped the top off and blew the bottom half of the paper directly into the hole in the counter that served as a garbage receptacle. As he slid the denuded straw into the opening of his cup's lid, he heard Teal'c shift behind him.

“Perhaps it should be entitled the 'Medium Gulp'. Much as the 'Medium Popcorn' at the theatre where we venture to view motion pictures.”

“Why do you say that, T?”

Teal'c indicated the cup dispenser, where the bottoms of cups protruded from different sized openings. Above the 'Big Gulp' cups, were two other sizes of containers. “Because it appears that the 'Big Gulp' is not as voluminous as either the 'Super Big Gulp' or the 'Mega Big Gulp'.”

“So?”

“So, therefore, the larger sizes of the other two containers render the adjective 'Big' in the title 'Big Gulp' somewhat impotent. The serving size is no longer 'big' if there are two others which are larger. Their relative size would then make 'big' seem 'small' in comparison.”

Jack tapped the straw down, shaking his head. “Teal'c just choose a drink. Fill the cup, stick a lid on, get a straw, and let's go. We're going to be late.”

But Teal'c had taken a step back towards the tidy rows of flat white cup butts.

“Considering the prospective length of the soccer match to which we are in transit, and the ambient heat outside, I believe that the 'Mega Big Gulp' may be a more advantageous choice, O'Neill.”

“You can't do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you've already put ice in that cup. You can't put that one back.”

“But ice is merely water. I have not dirtied this cup in any way.”

“Teal'c, just fill the cup.” O'Neill indicated the row of drink machines. “Choose one and let's go.”

Still Teal'c didn't move. He stood, staring at the bright colours of the display from under the low brim of his Colorado Rockies baseball cap.

Jack sighed heavily. He pivoted to stand beside the Jaffa at the drink station. “What are you in the mood for? You like citrus, right? There's Orange Crush, or Lemonade, or Lime Coke. Or Mountain Dew is kind of citrusy'or Sprite, or 7-Up. If you're in the mood for cola, there's Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper. You can have all of those without caffeine, if you like. Root Beer. There's Root Beer. You like that, don't you? Iced Tea? You've had that. And you can add cherry flavouring to any of those if you want or lemon. Or look, there's one of those energy Monster drinks. You can have that if you'd prefer.”

And still Teal'c stood, silent, unmoving.

“What's the hold up?”

Jack looked towards the voice to see Daniel came around a unit of shelving to stand near Jack, holding two bottles of some kind of canned sweetened frou-frou coffee. “Sam's done already. We're going to be late.”

“I've been trying to convince Teal'c of that, Daniel.” Jack raised his empty hand to indicate the Jaffa beside him. “He's having a bit of a problem deciding on which drink he wants.”

“What're you in the mood for, Teal'c?” Daniel surveyed the long line of fountain dispensers.

“I've already asked him. He doesn't know.” Jack took a long draw from his cup. He himself had chosen diet, but he'd mixed in just enough of the real thing that he could say it wasn't diet. Soda choices were squirrely, if you asked him. Choose diet or caffeine free, and it was like drinking a wine cooler. Girly. He figured that two-thirds diet and one-third real made the whole thing real by default. Too much sugar to be considered good for you, not enough that it would negate the crunches he'd done that morning.”

“Well, come on, Teal'c. Sam's already at the register.”

Teal'c sighed, his massive chest expanding with the effort. He bobbled his hand a little, and the ice shook in the cup.

“I believe that this is not a choice to be taken lightly, Daniel Jackson.”

Jack gestured with a flattened palm. “I was just thinking that exact same thing. And yet here I am. Soda in hand.”

But Teal'c continued as if O'Neill hadn't spoken. “We will be engaged in viewing this soccer tournament for several hours. If my beverage of choice is too large, then I will need to leave the field of play in search for a lavatory. If it is too small, I will perhaps be left desiring more to consume, without any manner of accessing it.”

**** like that always sounded better in Teal'c's deep, melodious voice. Jack sighed and shook his head at Daniel, offering a slight shrug.

“Teal'c, she's going to do it again.”

“She wouldn't, would she?' Jack narrowed his eyes at Daniel.

'Oh, I think she would, if only to avoid the wrath of Janet.”

Jack considered, then nodded balefully. “Daniel's right, Teal'c. Carter would hotwire the truck again and leave us here. She's done it before.”

Yet, Teal'c inclined his head anyway. “That is also a factor to consider.”

Daniel sighed, flinging an anxious glance at the Colonel. “Teal'c, I don't mean to rush you, but last time we almost missed Cassie's game, remember?”

“I do indeed, Daniel Jackson.” He canted his head ever so slightly to one side. “However, I fail to see how the culpability of that instance falls on me.”

“You were the one who couldn't decide which hat to wear.”

“As I recall, it is General Hammond and the SGC who require me to don head-wear with which to conceal my tattoo. Were it up to me, I would not disguise the symbol of my people's oppression.”

“Well, yeah.” Daniel conceded, “But that doesn't mean that you have to match each hat you wear to a specific engagement. Sometimes, you just plunk something on your head and wear it.”

“One's clothing should always be appropriate for the occasion.”

“Teal'c, I'm not saying that it shouldn't. I'm just saying that there are certain times when you just put something on and it really doesn't matter what.”

“And perhaps risk offending the parties with whom you are involved?” Teal'c cocked his brow and frowned sideways. “I should think that would be discourteous.”

“No more rude than arriving late everywhere.” Daniel sighed.

“But I am not late everywhere.” He said, raising his head slightly. “Merely to those places where my choice of head-wear may be a topic of discussion, and therefore requiring of more thought.”

“Teal'c. Gah!” Jack waved his hands, sending a light spray of soda out of the top of his straw. “Come on. Choose a drink already.”

Daniel lowered his chin and peered at Teal'c from over the tops of his glasses. “Teal'c, just choose one.”

From behind them came the click of boot heels, and Jack took an unconscious step sideways. Around the same corner that Daniel had come, appeared an annoyed Carter.

“What's going on here?” She was using her 'Mum' voice.

Silence reigned for a few brief seconds before Jack pointed his free hand at Teal'c. “He can't decide what drink he wants.”

“We're going to be late, Teal'c.”

“So I have been told.”

'So, come on.” Sam moved forward, stopping next to Teal'c expectantly, fists on her hips. “Choose one.”

“I have been in the process of that decision for quite some time, Major Carter.”

“Yeah I know. I've been waiting up there forever.” She held up her hand, from which hung a plastic bag through which Jack could see a few bottles of spring water. “See? All done.”

“I am too.” Daniel raised his bottles.

“Me three.” Jack wiggled his own cup. “We're just waiting on him.” He indicated Teal'c with a nod of his head.

Sam turned her wrist and glanced at her watch. “We've got fifteen minutes until the toss. It'll take around seven minutes to get there, five minutes to find parking and we still have to find a seat. Even if we leave right now, we're still going to be late.”

“Janet Fraiser will acquire seating for all of us. That has been her custom in the past.” The Jaffa sounded certain.

“Teal'c.” Sam pursed her lips, obviously struggling for control. “Pick one. Or I'm leaving without you.”

Teal'c turned his head and glowered at her. “As you wish, Major Carter.”

Stepping forward, he dumped the now-melted ice into the reservoir, then pressed his cup into the ice dispenser, waiting until it was around a third of the way filled. Then he took half a step sideways and aimed his container at the Dr. Pepper spigot. With a decided movement, he pressed the tab. When the froth reached the top, he stopped, waited for it to subside, and then finished filling his cup.

Sam sighed in relief when he finally turned towards the lid and straw area. He capped the cup, grabbed a straw, and lifted his Big Gulp in a mock salute.

“Thank you.” Sam pivoted on the heel of her boot and clicked back around the shelving unit. Jack watched her go, then shadowed behind Daniel as he trailed Sam.

They'd made it to the door before they realised that Teal'c had not followed them.

“Where is he?” Sam raised her eyebrows, surveying the convenience store. 'Where did he go?'

“Jack?” Daniel turned to the Colonel.

“How am I supposed to know? I'm not my Jaffa's keeper.”

Daniel rolled his eyes and rose up on his tippie-toes, craning his head for a better look around the store. Suddenly, he rocked back on his heels, handed his bottles to Jack, and held up a finger. “Wait here.”

He disappeared into the bowels of the store, only to re-emerge a few moments later, grimacing.

Jack scowled at the look on Daniel's face. “Do I want to know?”

“Probably not.”

“What's he doing?” Sam's voice had transcended 'Mum' and gone straight into 'Junior High School Principal'.

Daniel scrunched up his nose and readjusted his glasses, finally meeting her eye after stalling as long as he could. “He's, uh, he's almost ready.”

''What's he doing?” Sam asked again more slowly.

“Well, the good news is that he's happy with his drink choice.” Daniel gave a pained smile.

“And?” The Colonel prompted.

“The bad news is, now he's looking at snacks.”

[Angelica Constantine]

LOL XD
Funny CommanderOz.

[Wraithicator]

:) great job, again.